The words were: "I'm starting to feel like you don't really need therapy anymore."
I felt everything in that moment. Happiness, sadness, anxiety, disbelief.
I know I'm feeling better but I'm afraid of the future. And 'what if`' thoughts begin to race in my head.
What if I start feeling bad again? What if I can't work anymore? What if I can't leave the house?
These thoughts are not realistic and I know that but they still scare me.
My therapist wonderfully said that of course if I ever start feeling bad I can immediately text her and book an appointment. I know I'm catastrophizing. (What is catastrophizing? Psychcentral.com explains.) Fearing the worst possible for my future. Therapist reminded me that there are always options, nothing is set in stone. And it made me feel better.
So in my near future I'm looking at going to therapy not so often.
(Note: I've been going twice a month now. Every other week. When I started six years ago, I went twice a week. So there has been significant change already. But actually thinking about quitting is a big deal.)
When I was driving home, the first song that came on the radio was finnish band Stella's song 'Aamun kuiskaus' (Morning's whisper) and it just felt right for the moment.
Lyrics translate from lyrictranslate.com:
Morning's Whisper
Some days are better than others
you understand that
it depends also a lot about you how
you color this picture
Go ahead, the ice will carry you
be calm, you know i'll follow you
the ice will carry you, close your eyes already
Feel how the wind
paints a new color on your face
don't worry, the voice that you hear
is morning's whisper, it wakes you up slowly
It's very easy to sink in moments
where the feeling is lie
you only lose your soul on nightly trips
you get deep cuts
say a word, and you know i'll come meet you
be calm, i still follow you
the ice can carry you
( now) hear my song
Feel how the wind
paints a new color on your face
don't worry, the voice that you hear
is morning's whisper, it wakes you up slowly
Go ahead, the ice can carry you
Go ahead, the ice can carry you
Go ahead, the ice can carry you
close your eyes already
Feel how the wind
paints a new color on your face
don't worry, the voice that you hear
is morning's whisper, it wakes you up slowly
Feel how the wind
Paints a new color
The voice that you hear
is morning's whisper, it wakes you up slowly
Go ahead, the ice can carry you
Good post. Many people enjoy having someone neutral to talk to about their thoughts so if you can afford it, therapy is a good thing to continue. Our thoughts never stop, it is only our perspective on how we manage them that changes. Seems to me like you have a good perspective to live a good life. Best Wishes from the UK.
VastaaPoista