"Hello..?" - Speaking on the Phone

Even calling your friends might be really hard for those having anxiety. Let alone dealing with more official business. What it is, exactly, that makes us so afraid of speaking on the phone?

Dakota Blue Richards as Franky on Skins.

I have a fear of sounding stupid. I'm afraid that my anxiety takes control and I don't know what to say and end up sounding dumb. When it comes to friends, I'm afraid that I'll somehow disturb them.  
Are they annoyed that I'm calling? 
Maybe they don't want to hear from me.

These fears are completely irrational. (As are most fears your anxiety-fueled mind will come up with.)

What can I do? I know these fears aren't realistic but they still disturb me.

I can start calling people. (And I mean other than my parents.)
Sometimes when I'm about to text my friends, I can call them instead.

Also when I have to call someplace (like book a doctor's appointment or something) and anxiousness starts to arise, I can face it instead of running away from it. When I postpone calling and find excuses like "I must clean this place up, I will call later.", I'm making calling bigger of a deal than it is.  And it keeps getting harder and harder.

Is this going to be a challenge? Yes. Do I feel anxious just thinking about it? Yes.

But just realizing the problem and deciding to do something about it, is an important step forward. Give yourself some credit. (Something which I'm also struggling with.)

Here's to speaking on the phone without feeling self-conscious!

Dream

Today in therapy we talked about dreams. More particularly destinations I would like to travel to and the things I'd want to see.

Cliffs of Moher, Ireland, tweeted to GotIreland by AlmaJesen

My first thoughts were "Not gonna happen. Ever. Me on an airplane? Remember the last time...?" and so on. It was like a reflex. These thought patterns have been so much a part of me that at first it was hard to even be aware of them. No wonder changing them can be difficult.

I let the negative thoughts pass and actually started to feel excited.

I've read articles about the importance and benefits of dreaming. I knew "all" about how you should dream something and then visualise achieving it etc. But I'd never really thought about it before.

It's like with exercise. Everybody knows you should work out and it's good for you. But when it really hits you is when you actually feel good and in shape after actually doing something concrete about it.

So now I've got another goal for this year: simply

                                                                                              dream.

Going back

Whether it's going back to school, to work or to your own place after the holidays, people with anxiety often find it difficult. I'm no different.

 

After spending a week and a half at my parents', today was time to pack up my stuff and two cats and head back home. Work tomorrow.

While I was driving, the familiar thoughts started to appear: 'What if I have a panic attack?', 'What if I can't go to work?' 'I feel sick.'

What did I do? Before my whole body started to tense, I took a breath. A deep breath and relaxed my shoulders as well as I could. I've noticed many times that that small moment, taking a breath, could make the difference between having a panic attack and not having one.

I'm still anxious about tomorrow; breathing didn't macigally make it disappear. But  I'm not panicking. I'm able to function. Which is what learning to live with anxiety is all about.